I admit it! At the very core of the resentment and anger I feel about all kinds of stuff…oh ya, I admit that I feel those things too, is that nasty 4-letter word – FEAR! I am afraid! When I reflect and try to analyze what it is I am afraid of, it comes down to two major things for me really; success and failure. It’s hard to say which one predominates, but clearly, they are both a factor. Where does that come from? Who cares? I can spend years in therapy trying to figure it out, or just point a finger at my Mom, but what good does that do?
Regardless of where my fear comes from, I am still compelled to DO something about it! And blaming my Mom hasn’t helped, neither did BECOMING a therapist! So where does that leave me?
It leaves me staring that F monster right in the face! I need to do that! I need to recognize the fear. I need to FEEL it! I need to experience what it’s doing to me physically, and emotionally. Then, I need to surrender it…give away that feeling of fear. And finally, I need to walk towards it, not run away from it, but meet it, confront it head on. I am learning, as I get older, that the things I shy away from are the VERY things I need to embrace. When I do that, lo and behold, 9 times out of 10, the MONSTER turns into a mere pussycat. Meowwwwww!
This piece from “Coach Carter,” a great movie about basketball and about life, says it all…It MATTERS!